How square am I

Let me count the ways:

• The icon my RSS client uses is of a newspaper printed on paper. RSS, RSS client, newspaper - that counts for three ways right there.
• My t-shirts say nothing witty. I’m currently wearing one emblazoned with an enigmatic logo for a local bike/walk event and more importantly (if typography is any guide) THE LOGOS AND NAMES OF ALL ITS SPONSORS. There’s a white stain from some goop my daughter spilled on me that I half-heartedly and ineffectually tried to rub off with my nails. Update: I changed t-shirt.
• My laptop has no funky stickers from events or projects. All there is, is a fading Intel Centrino Inside sticker it came with, that has been gradually rotating under my hand. It is now at a 30 degree angle, with traces of exposed glue on the upper side. I don’t plan to take any action about this anytime soon. Update: the sticker fell off.
• I don’t have an interesting phone. My phone is as dumb as they come, and not in a hip way, more in a total-neglect and out-of-touchy kind of way. 2016 Update: gave in, now editing this in emacs on an new phone so I don’t even have the retro thing going for me any more. argh how do i type ctrl x ctrl s oh right volume down.
• I’ve never changed my name on twitter. Why are people doing that? Update: I get this now, thanks to pikesley Update: I mean Only Zuul Update: I mean Galactus of the Left BIG PIPES Nun Of The Above Taylor's Wift Human Blockchain Unicode Batman Lord of the Flues Head of Snorkelling 6MillionBitcoinMan Sharing Economist Lol Cream Peter Gunn Jolly Local Swagman Dandy Highwayman Cubic's Rube Cyber with Rosie Cyber with Roadies Institute of Codeine Santos L. Halper Hugh Jif True Bill Clay Jeremy Kylo Ren New Year's Steve Triangle Man Cognitive Sourpuss Manic Bitcoin Miner Null of Kintyre Safety Third Phineas Gage Thousand-yard Stairs London Supercloud register.register WinstonNilesRumfoord Sabre Wulf Cable Select ISA Bus Sides of March Click Dummy Fatuous Pauper Ringlefinch Alonzo Mosely Ian Bothan R Dweeno Horse it's June When Devs Cry Roko's Obelisk Riemann's Zero Penn Rose-Tile Belouis None Rush Goalie 2-Tractor Auth All Is Aflame Jason Bourne Shell SCSI Terminator X bonsaikitten Kid Charlemagne Fronk-en-shteen Metric Martyr Billy Yum-Yum 2x2 Full-Sack Developer Konix Speedking Metropolitan Liberal Glidd of Glood Sexy Cartoon Fox Elite: Liberal Activist Grudge Gee Suswept Big Dope Shill Britain’s Best Tree Rogue Nun Deus X-Wing Ice-Cream Fan Man of Leisure SCMODS R Dweeno Alternative Fax Auntie Kithera Straight Banana iso8601 or GTFO Fake Gnus Two 9s Uptime Vex Machina several people Proof of Kraftwerk UNNECESSARY HASHTAGS Mutant Tycoon LXC Sale Seb O'Teur Spinach Recall Bactrian YAML Big Daddy Smalls Roy Neary Freeze Peach Stanky Bean Special Order 937 HTTP RANGE 14 Monk and beefhead Chareth Cutestory Me an intellectual 🇫🇷 is 🥓 🇫🇷 is 🥓 🔷 Content Negotiator Gallant and Goofuth Buddhachain Harlan Pepper Kid Charlemagne Heated Gaming Moment Chuckie Egg Stalked by Fitzy Banana Force Kale Ban Anna Force Kale Coughin' Nail Sugar Bear MC Ren & Stimpy Prefab Doubt Graham Snumber PDF;dr 1 like = 1 respect 31 for 2 Brian Force Plus Blue Stratos Hans Gruber TulipCoin No Bitcoin only Zuul Snoke is Jar-Jar Core Stickwit Application Jason Voodoo Cray-1 Onceable Spoon Ball is in parking lot Emotional Support Peacock Cheddar George George Brontosoros Graham Snumber UVB 76 Paywall Fade Ferretocracy Tauntaun Club Han shot first Zoe Trope 12-inch Dance Mix Paperclip Minimizer Delete You're A Count Ball Tamperer Satoshi Station Agnes DiPesto Left-Wing Rabble Rouser Ambitions not Targets Bolshevik Bin Man Bitcoin Binman Dot Matrix with Stereo Sound Clinical Psychologist Corridor of Uncertainty Principle GitHub for Workgroups Tomato Farmer Jewels Remain Gareth's Waistcoat Self-made Rent-a-Lefty Daze of Fuchsia Parsed The Third Summers Brother M'Kraan Crystal Gerald of Galactus Commit Bit Short Leader EMF Camper Techno-Organic Virus Nose For R2 Countless Screaming Argonauts Maribou Stacy Pariah Carey Trente Percenter Fink Angel Bette Davisize 2-Bar Phrase Terry Jen-Mist Don Newkirk Mule With A Spinning-Wheel NATHAN WIND as COCHESE Contempt of Parliament/Funkadelic Hot Dog Jumping Frog Albuquerque C. Bourne-Frait Corvus Glaive Bolivar Trask Former user (Inactive) John Cougar Melonfarm Ice Hockey Hair NICAM Stereo Many Bothans Daryl Canvas Obvious Exemptions For Fishing The π Approximator nineteencharacters Peter Hitchens Boycott NPM Sbeve Rogers Invisible Border a² + b² = c² Pharell Hogg Pearsquoosher 200 OK BOOMER Jeff Porcaro fan account PUT Malone egg on branch 5G REZOTONE SHIELD Impatient Zero Grudge Unit Social Distance Warrior Love In A Time Of Covid Nerd Immunity Staying In For The Summer Happy Maundys The Longest Good Friday Guns don't kill people Tories do Covid Rules Everything Around Me Mars Bar Paywall Unbeaten Covid Quiz Participant Some sort of database in the sky Edison's Boyhood Giftshop Join A Union Today Severe Childcare Issues The Rules Are Optional Guns Don't Kill People Tories Do Join A Union Today Gil O'Teen Harold Hill of Harold Hill Did I learn nothing from Richie Aprile? PUT ON THE F***ING MASK William Butler Yeets :(){ :|: & };: Sneedle Flipsock Mute Ant Al Go Rhythm Wakanda Forever Jen d'Reveal Technical Co-Flounder Mo Sizely Senior Mouse Pusher copy of_copy of COVID (1).Oct20.xls(1) FINAL..xls Tier-2 of a Clown Tier-1++ Hello John Got A New Motor? Sabre Wulf 16 Czechoslovakians Freeman Hardy & Willis On The Land The Dukes of Hazzard in the Classroom I was brainwashed Feigning Concern For Fishermen .
• The things I’m putting on this list and not putting on it no doubt reveal assumptions I’m making about what is hip that confirm further my squaritude in ways I can’t even imagine.
• I totally get grumpy about the dumb things that kids are doing these days.
• I totally get grumpy about how much sense the dumb things that kids are doing these days ends up making in the end.